because a month or so before that, I was able to cross off
One led to the other, because as it turns out, I got offered the new job I wanted.
Leaving my last place of employment was one of the scariest things I've ever done, because the leaving was bittersweet.
My last job as Social Work Director of a senior living community, even with all its annoyances and typical daily problems, was a warm blanket that kept me snug and comfortable. I enjoyed my job. I enjoyed the residents I served. I enjoyed the coworkers I befriended. I enjoyed the successes. I always, even despite some random complaining, enjoyed the challenges. I was happy there. I was confident there.
When Rick died, I wouldn't have wanted to be working anywhere else and that's the honest truth. In retrospect, I can't imagine being anywhere else during the months that followed. It was the perfect job for me at the perfect time.
Then life did its usual plot twist and showed me a new path.
My decision to quit my previous job began with resolve and a simple statement. "The best thing to do is for me to get a new job, so I will get a new job." I said I would, and then I did. And then...
I did the scary thing and quit my job...leaving on my last day with tears and a nervous feeling that I was going to be "homesick." But my last job gave me 5 very important things: valuable experience, security during a tumultuous time in my life, lasting friendships, confidence, and new love.
It felt right to leave. It felt right to move on.
It was a necessary chapter in my story. It will always be important in a multitude of ways. Even though I'm so glad to be 4 months into my new job, a job that presented itself almost magically at exactly the right time, I will never be anything but grateful for my previous job.
For several reasons, both connected and unconnected, it took a lot of courage to say good bye.